Healthy Living: Unsure

Another late night, heh?
It's 3:21 AM.  I should be in bed. But I can't sleep yet. I want to let you know that today, I have submitted my last assigned for UCI. :) My undergrad years are officially over!

I'm quite unsure about this feeling. It is really a bitter sweet ending. I have been waiting for this moment since the start of spring quarter. Now it is here. I'm not sure how I quite feel about it. On one side, I am glad I'm no longer bogged down with work for school. But in away, it means that a chapter of my life has completed. I can't believed its over.

I like to think that it is over. All that happen at UCI has ended. I'm not exactly sure what I should feel. I guess tonight, I feel a bit lonely. I feel that something has left me. A part of my undergraduate life is gone and I can never take it back. I don't have any regret. I did everything I can and I am blessed to meet so much great people. And, I'm so glad I came out of it knowing more about myself. :)

So what's next? Well, I'm not really sure. But tomorrow, LITTERALLY TOMORROW, I'm going to need to clean up my room and house. I'll do a digital update next week.

For this picture, it reminds me of two people. One I met in college and the other I met during high school. They taught me a lot about myself and also help me through so much doing college. I don't think my college experience will be the same without them. I literally mean it. Now that they have taught me through what I needed to know, they are going on their way. I'm glad they came into my life and I hope I have in some way contribute a little to their life.

Healthy Living: i thought this was cute

There is absolutely no reason why I am writing this post. It's 3AM. I am suppose to be in bed. But, I'm not. I have 1 last thing to do tonight. Make a plan for my MCAT. Yes, we are doing this again until we get it.

Digital Update: 7/5/14

That's right. Finally, after 10 months of silent. I give you, 2014 Digital Update!
I am picking up this hobby again because it is important to me. This digital update routine has helped me overcome my past struggle and helped me learned to love myself. Also, its a great hobby!

I am glad I'm doing this again. :)
Though, the outfit wasn't that spectacular, I will try to put more effort on picking.

Healthliving: Running away

I have been running away from my problem lately. You know I have tried to get myself up but I have been just down in the dirt these day. Again, like I mention in the last post, this fight is not a one time battle.

Tonight, I went through another wave. But I found a nice website that help me through tonight. I want to copy& a paste this mini passage to share with you.

It's about running away from your problems.

"I learned that the other side of pain and false power is authentic power.
Paradoxically, the place where I was to find the joys that had been missing in my life was the very place I’d been running from all my life.
When I reconnected to the parts of me that I had lost, it felt like a coming-home. I learned that self-love is when we come home to ourselves. That relationship which I had sought to destroy turned out to be the very thing that would save my life in the end.
What I realize now is that we can get so  overwhelmed by our imperfections that we don’t see any goodness in ourselves.

In this way, we can destroy our relationship with ourselves thinking we are flawed and beyond redemption. But it will only cut us off from the very source of joy, beauty, and love. 
I see so many people addicted to substances and external relationships, believing that is where they can find these things. It will only feed into their deep inner insecurity and create more distance from themselves, the true source of joy.
I see so many people, like I once did, choosing to go to sleep and not be present to the everyday experience. I see many others who can’t stop running from one place to the next, thinking they can outrun their problem.

Freedom is found not by sleeping or running away, but by choosing to be awake and staying here long enough for the magic doors to open. 
The act of moving—mindfully, with an attitude of embracing life—will take you from feeling stuck with pain to healing that pain. Move slowly and you can taste the rich array of sensations. Move too fast and you’ll miss the gifts contained in the moment.
When you get vulnerable, feel emotions, and stay true to what you are feeling, you liberate yourself from pain.
As you allow the sensations to be in your body, while gently breathing through it, you invite the natural force of change to renew you with its constant movement."

-http://tinybuddha.com/