Healthy Living: The problem

 

I'm not feeling well. I'm not sick. I can't see my goals. I feel like like all my task right now are like a big blob and I can't see through this. Everything I do is like a big blob. That's is why i feel lost and lack motivation. I don't do anything because I can't see myself getting anywhere.

Healthy Living: The most truthful truth. RingyDingyDong

I was sitting today being a bum. Yup..., a real bum.
I been like this for the last 3 days. (Well, I wasn't as stylish as Gatsby) But, pretty much a bum.
I was not productive. I wasn't motivated to do anything at all.

And so, sitting and doing the absolute amount of "nothing". I really just sat on my butt, and watch the cloud go by. I wasn't so happy after finishing my midterm. I'm not very excited for the upcoming year. It hasn't even approach yet, but I'm scared. I haven't have everything figure out yet. I haven't got all my cards together yet. And, I'm not quite happy with myself either.

It's not that I didn't have an exciting summer. So far, my summer has been amazing. I did crazy stuff. I even have classes with a lot of my friends. I hanged out with a lot of people. I did a little livin' :)

But when I have a tons of stuff to do. I freeze. I fall into the senerio where I have a lot of stuff to do but I do not want to do ANYTHING. I have all the things in the world to do, but I don't want to do any of it at this moment.

I'm lazy. Yup, that's pretty much sum up everything. I'M lazy and I no excusses other than I do not want to do the stuff I have right now.

  I know that in the near future, I'm gonna put myself in crazy hell if I don't start working now.

I guess this post was a rant. Or the most accurate description of my current life at this moment. You see, I feel pretty lost myself. I want to do medicine, but sometime, I feel lost because I don't know how to get there. At least, I have a direct.. right? :)

"Because if this is what we got then what we got is gold."

James Blunt: Stay the Night

Healthy Living: FAN-GIRLLING! :)

Okay! I usually don't do this. I usually keep all of my fan-girlling spirit back at Tumblr. BUT OMG!! THIS ONE IS LIKE.... WOOW!!

Okay, so I'm a major fan of the SNSD Girls Generation Korean girl group. They consist of 9 beautiful members. They are multi-tallented. But I think one of the thing that got me to be their fan-girl is that these girls are crazingly hard working. They make the things I do look like a joke. These girls really suffered. And now, they Dominate Korea!!

I know, I'm such a fan-girl. But the amazing things they have done. The things they sacreficed. The commitment they made. It really astonished me. (These girls visit their family like...once a YEAR!! And they barely have any day off..)  It's a tough life. But they push on and continue to pursue their career.

I'm not saying these girls are the nicest. I'm not even sure they are even outstanding individuals. But, they work hard. And I admired that.

OOOH, and the pictures! :)
I LOVE her sense IN STYLE!! x) I think this outfit is COMPLETELY ADORABLE!! Hm.. I wonder if I have anything in the closet to pull off that amazing trend. I ADORE THIS OUTFIT!!! xDDD
AGAIN.. my Fan-girlling xDD Here... have a closer view!!

Healthy Living: Summer School

And then again, I think.
I think about the my priority. I think of my where I'm suppose to be. Like.. who is watching over me. I'm just thinking and worrying about all the things that has yet to come.

I talked to my mom today. She made it real to me. She told me not to worry my silly head out. Things that are meant to come will come. There are no way to avoid it. There are certain things we have control over and something we do not. There is no point of sitting here and fearing of the future ... And so I listen to her wised words. I'll just let things be.

Summer school is 2 weeks in. I'm on my last week of MCAT prep. I really need to study. Keeping my head focus. Oh boy. Here we go!

Healthy Living: Getting Back Up & Just LIVIN' SUMMER

Okay! Breathe.

I need to start over. After I got back from my camping trip, things got a little messy. I was slacking in everything. I am behind with my MCAT studies. I started summer school. x__x JIKE!
I'm also taking a physic class this summer.

I had my summer fun with my 2 week camping trip. It's really time to get back to work.
But then, my head won't leave me alone! Things got a little confusing. You see, I never really solved my sexuality problems. It's quite bugging me sometime. I am still white unsure of my feeling and dealing with these emotion is not something I want to face. I got so much on my plate, I really don't want anything from anyone. But at the same time, I can't help the way I feel. Geezz right?!?

But in a way, I'm kinda glad. At the moment, I'm not really going anywhere. There are still many things I still need to do. And, I'm working toward something I really want. (That white coat!!) And I'm so so grateful that there is someone special in my life at the moment. Even if she is only here for a little while. :)

Heathy Living: Unsure

Sometime, I can't make sense of the things that had happen in my life. And sometime, I feel completely lost. I don't know why certain things happen. I feel frustrated and hopefulless because I feel that some of the things I have expierenced are really in vain. Like, none of those painful events really matter. Ex: my sexuality, my crush..