I recently letting go of someone. I never imaged writing about it this type of letting go. I always imaged writing about goodbye over a lost love. It would then be me crying that it was over. But honestly, this type of letting go is very different then anything I ever had before.
I let go of someone because I truly wanted this person to become a better individual and someday find someone truly for them.
Its almost as if I let this person go because I wanted them to grow and become someone better. I see so much potential in them and I know they can and will achieve it. And when they do, I'm sure they will attract the right kind of people toward them. Or maybe, I'm completely wrong lol.
... the story begins when I matched with someone several months ago who I thought was a gamer. I didn't think too much into it and we started to speak through discord. I found this person to be really cool and we continue to talk every now and then. I got to learn more about her life, her work, her family, her hobbies and interests. What I like in this person is her ability to remain calm and have a very good financial outlook. I admire her love and closeness with her family. I admire her love for her cat and the good care she takes of it. These were some great qualities and attributes I see in her.
But as I got to learn more about her, I realized there were things that held her back. She had hobbies and interest that kept her indoors and certain fix ideology that kept her from opening up to others. I felt her world is very small. I felt that in some way, she missed out on a part of life. I wanted more for her. I wanted her to go out and explore more places. I want to eat at good food places and buy clothes that show case who she is. I want her to value the luxuries of living with family, and that is not a inhibiting factors to hold a person back. I wanted her to know you can live life fully and completely. I want so much for her.
During our second date, I saw her stepping out of her car, and I realized there was no feeling in me. Through our dinner, I felt in some ways she wanted to share to me more about her plans, but it remains illusive. We didn't connect much over conversation. I took her out to dessert and I was still too scare to bring up the topic of dating with her. It was only after dessert when we were heading the different way, I asked her if we are friends, and she look at me strangely, but nod yes both time. That night, I called her. I spoke for a bit about my feeling and thoughts toward her and the decision to remain friends. I wanted her to become a better individual and open her world. I later had to end the friendship because I realized I need to be out of the picture for this to happen.
The things that I learned from this experience is about: Letting go can sometime be in for the other person to learn and grow to their fullest potential. A closed door life keeps our world small. As one close their doors to the world, they will always be at a disadvantage. I want her to be careful, but at the same time, to go out more: to meet more people, to try more food, try on more clothes, and make more meaningful connections. I have good faith it will all goes well. She truly is a good person and deserved to be loved and treated well.
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