I went to temple today. Its strange because for some reason, every time I come to temple, I find peace. My soul feel less tumultuous. The noise get drown out. I could feel the clear, cool breeze of air rushes by me. I feel light like a spirit.
Today, I want to share with you.
I am Buddhist. In my religion, we believe everyone is connected. The people who you interact with , those who are important role in your life, and others who you are going to meet --everyone is connected by threads. Your relationship with this person in this life depends on the dynamic of your relationship with this same soul in the last life. If you are in debt with someone in the last life, you will pay them in this life, whether is through having a strong bond of friendship, being romantic partner, or just being a good Samaritan and dropping in once in their life to do a good deed. Every good deed is given back and every debt needs to be repay. Thus, in my religion, we believe that the people who play a large role in our life and our emotion are some how tied to us by destiny and by the deeds that was done in the previous lives.
When it comes to romance, we, Vietnamese Buddhist followers, believe in the idea of "duyên" & "nợ". For a romantic relationship to work out, it needs to have both "duyên & nợ".
--> Duyên = the connection, the love, the admiration, the spark, the inner burning of love.
--> Nợ = the time you are meant to spend with them.
In this world, there are some people who have a lot of "Duyên " with someone, but with no "Nợ " with that person. Thus, they are destine to love that person but never able to be with them. Meanwhile, if you have a lot of "Nợ " but no "Duyên ", you are destine to live with that person but not share a single connection with them.
Its this strange idea. But it is something that is very prevalent in the Vietnamese Buddhist community. And, strangely, today when I kneel in front of Buddha today, I pray about it.
There was definitely something that was bothering me these few days. There are feelings I cannot get ride of. Despite how much I try to resolved my issues, there were thing that bothered me day and night. I could not get my head out of this trouble which was relating to a very specific person. And then, I thought about my other friend who I knew was also suffering. We don't talk anymore, but I can feel her pain, her hardship, and her struggles. And I wonder, why, why do we mortal need to go through such suffering. We cry and die over an issue that we have no control over. The people who care about is already move on, ahead with their own life, yet we still carry this pain in our hearts.
It was then, I realized, I wanted released. I don't want it only for myself but for others. I want this for my friend who is also suffering. I prayed for peace. I prayed that our destiny, our "duyên & nợ", for the person we loved will be unteathered. Like a thread of fate that has once binded us on this path, I pray that it will unteathered itself, setting free those that were trapped and allow us to find peace in our heart and our soul. I pray that with this released of destiny, we can move forward with our life, meeting new people, smile, and find a new beginning.
I believe in life, the people who we care about the, those we cherished, are binded to us with this string of fate. But I pray, I pray, I pray, that for this particular thread close loosen itself, and let me and my friend free. Its time. Its about time. Let us go. Let us find our new future. Let us sleep in peace, dream of new horizon, and be in good conscious.
So, those were my prayers to Buddha. I pray for peace. I pray that our destiny of the people who have cause us suffering be loosen. I pray that we will travel new path and find peace in our hearts and soul.
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