Yesterday, I went to my school mentor/mentee things. I can't believed it has already been a year. What I got most out it wasn't that I was bonding with my mentee. Obviously, I feel like he was much more mature than me and was ready to take on the world. I got a different feeling to the whole event. Things were so different today from a year ago.
A year back, I came there scared. I don't know who my mentee were. I didn't have any friends and I didn't know anybody. I wasn't really sure what to make out of the event after the dinner. I stood with my mentor watching a group of girls playing Powerpuff Balls. There was a girl in that group that caught my attention awhile back. I really didn't think too much about what she was to me or why I even bother to pay extra attention. At that time, I was just glad she was focus on the game, and I could feast my eyes on the site of her.
She wasn't necessary pretty or cute. I don't know, I just wanted to watch her play and her interaction with her teammate. It was a rare and nice moment. I was enjoying the game and the site of her. Afterward, a guy friend of mine drove me back to my car. I talked to a few classmate about anatomy. The dude that drove me back was one of my anatomy group mate. Things were so different back then. I didn't think too much about who these people are and what difference they will make in my life.
Flash forward, a year later, on this exact similar event, I was now the 2nd year waiting on me mentee. He end up showing up but was about 30 minutes late. I didn't bother too much about the details regarding him. He got it. I just knew it, but maybe he was trying a little bit hard to fit in. I wasn't sure if it true, but that was the vibe I got.
And when it came to the event, we played dodgeball. Its funny because the girl who I watched played last year was also in today's event. I still kept my eyes on her. But there is so much element and factors that make this year feel extra different.
First, I wasn't alone anymore. I was with my group of friends. We sat together, talked to our younger peers, and we cheered on the game together as group. Secondly, I participated this time. I went to the event and I played. I was no longer the spectors but a contributing member. This time, all eyes were on me. I didn't contribute much, but I was there for the spirit cheer and the team buidling moments, and I did play a couple of rounds where I lost. But, it was still fun.
And you know, I don't want to point fingers too much or say something I have no proof, but it would be nice if the girl that I once watched, is now watching me. My team went against her team, and my team took the win. We then went on to fight for 3rd place. I was in there for a few moments and it was damn right fun. It was nice to knows that there were eyes on me. My friends were watching, my peers were viewing, and for once, I was not just a spectator, but something more.
How much has things changed. Who knew, I grew. Who knew, I came out to my peers. Who knew, I became a stronger and more confident person. Who knew, I had to guts to after girls. I'm still not there yet, but one day, I will be the one asking. How much has changed in a year.
Ps: I went to vietnam
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