‘The Buddha said that if you have a wound within your body or within your mind, you can learn how to take care of it. There are many ways of taking care of your wound. You allow the wound in your body and soul to heal. You do not stand in the way of its healing. But very often we do just that. We forbid our body to heal itself; we do not allow our mind, our consciousness, to heal itself because of our ignorance. We know that our body has the capacity to heal itself. When we cut our finger, we don’t have to do much. We just clean it and allow it to heal - maybe for one or two days. If we tamer with the wound, if we worry too much or do too many things to it, it may not heal. Especially when we worry too much about it.
The Buddha gave the example of someone who is hit by an
arrow. The person suffers. If soon afterwards a second arrow strikes him in
exactly the same spot, the pain is not just double, it is ten times more
intense. If you have a wound within your body and you magnify it with your
worry and your panic, the wound will become more serious. It would be helpful
to practice breathing in and breathing out and understanding the nature of the
wound. Breathing in, we think, “I am aware that this is only a physical wound.
It can be healed if I allow it to do so.” If you need to, you can ask a friend
or a doctor to confirm that your wound is only minor, and that you shouldn’t
worry. You should not panic, because panic is born of ignorance. Worry and
panic are mental formations. They make the situation worse. You should rely on
your knowledge of your own body. You are intelligent. Do not imagine that you
are going to die because of a minor wound in your body or soul.
We know that when an animal is wounded, it looks for a quiet
place to lie down. Wisdom is present in the animal’s body. It knows that rest
is the best way to heal. It does not do anything, not even eat or hunt; it just
lies down. Some days later, it can get up. It is healed. Human beings have lost
confidence in their body. We panic and try to do many different things. We
worry too much about our body. We do not allow it to heal itself. We do not
know how to rest. Mindful breathing helps us to re-learn the art of resting.
Mindful breathing is like a loving mother holding her sick baby in her arms
saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you, just rest.”’
- Thich Nhat Hanh, The Path of Emancipation.
---
I am wounded. I have not realized I have been wounded for a very long time. I think it has all started on a hiking trip back during in my Behavioral block. I now understand that I have been wounded for a very long time, and I need time to heal. I need time to mend my broken heart and my wound. But I cannot heal if I do not accept the fact that I am wounded.
I think part of me still and continues to hope that there is a future for my crush and me. And that hope amplified everytime I see her, and it darkens every time she lashes out on me. And I feel like I am on this roller coaster. This summer has done me a great service by removing her strong grip on my heart. But the pain has not close yet.
I think I need time to rest. Time to mend my broken heart. A time to heal, and a time to move forward. I don't know what the future holds but interacting with her just overstimulate my wound even more. I guess the only way to heal is to let go and to walk away. But I can't do that until I come to terms that she is not a good person, and that there could never be a me and her. I should also stay away from her ex. She just reminded me of my crush. Its okay if my crush is madly in love with her. I don't mind. I don't want a part in this struggle anymore.
I hope and pray that our path will not cross anymore. And even in close distance, I hope we are million miles away in our heart and soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment