I'm not sure why I am writing tonight. But first, I want to thank Jewlz for the great advice and encouragement. It really means a lot! :)
So, I just finished editing one part of my essay tonight and it ended kinda late.. around 2AM ish. Now, I know, I need to march myself off to bed as soon as possible, but I really want to unwind a little bit tonight. I thought I might visit facebook, but to be honest, nothing smooth me then writing on this blog. It is afterall the place I let out my feeling late at night.. ahahaha.
And so, tonight, there is a lot on my mind. Specially, I am thinking of my feelings. You see, I sometime ponder about life. I mean, I wonder if I wasn't living the life that I am living today, would I still want to be a doctor? I mean, would I be who the person that is reflecting to you tonight? I mean, I hear that circumstances and living condition can shape a person.
Today, I watched a video of one of my favorites singer-Charice. However, she recently came out as a Lesbian. This is a big suprise to me! I orginally loved her because of her voice. She would be able to hit all those high octives that many professional singers can only dream of.
However, after she came out to the media, she was abandoned by her parents. Then, she changed her image into a tomboy. And then she got a girlfriend, and then she started SINGING DIFFERENTLY!!
She stop singing those "deep" songs and convert to the typical Miley Cyrus: Wrecking Ball. And to be honest, she wasn't even sounding that well. In the youtube video, she recieved a lot of critism from her own fans and I can see why. Is she really losing it? Is it because of her new changed look that made her sing differently? I mean, she is very masculine these days, so maybe she wants to sing less girly song... but that is such a shame. Her voice, she can hit notes that would send shivels down my back. I miss her old performance.
And I started to be angry, maybe its her damn new girlfriend or friends that made her change. Maybe it was those new friends around that made her dress more manly and sing manly song. Maybe she was influenced by the wrong type of people and so she turns out this way--looking manly and singing manlier song.. and not those Celion Dion song anymore!!
But then again, I think about it, who am I to say this?!? I mean, how blind can I be? I mean, Charice is being Charice. She is growing and become more true to herself. And if this is a way to be true to herself, I should support her. I mean, long ago, she may dress like a girl and sing those lovely song that I adore, but maybe then, she was really suffering inside. Maybe she was crying behind the curtains and hiding herself from the world. And now, she is truly happy. She is able to dress the way that most fit her identity. And her voice, maybe she is being more protective of it. She isn't singing those high notes song because it may hurt her voice in the long run.
In all, I feel that Charice is happy now. And when I saw Charice with her gilfriend, I saw a really big smile on her face. Charice is truely happy, and as a fan, I should be happy for her. I mean, my initial reaction to Charice transformation is pretty bad. If she is living a proud and open life, who cares if she doesn't sing Celion Dion song anymore..
And so, I realize, I guess not everyone is like everyone. I mean, I like girls, but I don't think I will ever cut my hair. I love dressing up.. and doing my digital Update. But then again, this is my identity. This is who I am and I am comfortable in my own skin and I am forever fortunate. And I glad Charice is finally happy in her own skin-even if it meant she will look like a guy and singing manly song. Who am I to make a judgement?
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