Healthy Living: Unsettling

Tonight is late, and I'm about to go to bed.

However, I want to share a bit with you tonight. I think I have been keeping it inside to myself these days, and part of me just want to let it out. I don't really know what is going on anymore... really.

I miss someone. I don't even think I like this person. Its way too soon. But this person has been on my mind lately, and I'm not very happy about it. Its distracting from my other task. I mean, yea, its fun sometime to have a semi-crush. But for real, I'm really not in the mood for any of this. I have a lot of stuff to do and worry about, and having this feeling is just not making thing any easier for me. Why now?

The second thing, my schooling. I'm getting disappointing letters from school right and left. I'm still holding out to gain a few more interview, and I'm trying not to lose faith, but it get so hard after you been receiving so much disappointing things lately.

And also, I'm waiting to hear about on some schools. I don't know. I feel totally crappy these days. Its this unsettling feeling inside. I feel like part of me is waiting, part of me is hearing dissapointing news, part of me is preparing for this upcoming test, part of me is thinking if i really have feeling for someone, part of me is really needing rest, part of me have a school on my mind.

I'm in the middle of everything. I wonder if I should take the MCAT again. I wonder if I should apply for master programs. I wonder if I will get into medical school. I wonder if I'm going to be okay and how will this process will turn out.

I'm not really lying in my back wondering because I have still a lot of stuff to do. But still, this unsettling feeling within me make me feel so weird. And, I still have a lot of things I still need to do. I'm glad I'm not really alone in this process. I have friends. I have mentors. I have my family.