"4. Assuming what worked before will work again: As an undergraduate, I tended towards a solitary study system, working away deliberately at home or in the library. I thought this was how I studied best, plowing through texts, making flashcards, re-writing my notes. It worked in college, why not in medical school? So that was the system I started, and it held up well through my first set of exams mostly covering material I was already familiar with – the fundamentals of genetics, biochemistry and biology. When we began anatomy and physiology, I plowed ahead through my piles of textbooks and notes, alone in my room. Then the first test came and I got my score back – I think it may have been my lowest score since a rather disastrous middle school algebra quiz. I panicked, convinced I was about to fail out medical school. While my initial impulse was to just study harder, I realized that I needed to change something. I reached out to a few friends who I knew studied together and asked if I could join. Now I had people to bounce ideas off of, clarify difficult concepts, and help me realize when I may have had a gap in my knowledge. It made a big difference and the next exam, while not perfect, was much better. If the data suggests something isn’t working, even if it has worked before, change it."
I don't usually start my blog up with a quote. But I feel like this one really fit the description of what I wanted to talk about today in my post. It is the idea of "the things that used to work". This idea goes beyond the just school but also have so implication in my life.
All thoughout my life, I have been doing things alone. I have worked hard and got this far. I am happy and proud. But as I entered medical school, the challenges and difficulties heighten. I often feel like I don't have everything figure out and there is just so much going in my head and mind that I kinda wish I really do. Also, thoughout my life, I have always been goal driven. I tried not to get into a relationship because I felt that it took away from my education. But I as a I entered medical school, I have met someone, where I can't help wondering, "what do I need to do to make this girl mine?"
What worked once, no longer works anymore. I don't want to be alone. Or at least, not with her around.
But then again, I think I also need to change my studying habits too. I feel terrible. My studying habit that worked in undergrad no longer worked anymore in med school. I feel like I need to condensed and understand material sooner and quicker. Long are the days where I can cram all the lectuer 3 days before the test and expect a overwhelmin performance. Something needs to change, and I haven't figure it all out yet. But it definitely deal with consolidating materials sooner, and pumping outline sooner, and following a systematic review of anki to consolidate known facts.
With that said, I recently developed some friendship at school. For the first time ever, I went to a house party and had a really good time. I was not nothing crazy. We just played a lot of mini games. And then, we had a small group today where discussed about medical clinical case. So, with this, I was really happy because I did learn a bit from it. I think if I prepared a bit more the next few cases, I would be able to learn a lot of things better.
Life has not gotten any easier for me since the first day of med school. Things definitly has not dying down. But I don't know, I feel a bit different. I don't have everything under control, but I just know, the feeling and the experience that is happening to me right now is something truly special. I just hope and pray have I have the stamina, the energy, and the intelligence to keep up. And as always, I pray for guidance from up above.
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