Healthy living: Losing a friend

This is silly. But I been experience something lately. (btw, the picture is not me, I'm not that skinny. But I chose it because it gives an impression of the theme of this post)

One of my closet friend recently has a boyfriend. I am happy for her, but she been hanging out with me less often now. To be honest, we barely talk at all. She rarely replied to my text, and when she does, it takes FOREVER!!! This pissed me off. -__-

I understand that her boyfriend is more important to her now, but it doesn't mean she can just blow all her other friends off!! And the saddest thing is that she and I have been close friend since high school. She was one of my closet friend. She helped me through my depression last year. She taught me how to deal with my emotion and how to be more aware of the world around me.

We talked everyday, and she plays a very important role in my life. But now, I barely have her around anymore. It's like.. our friendship has gone down hill. But don't get me wrong, I am not jealous of her boyfriend or anything like that. I am more than happy they are together, I think he is a great guy. Its just sadden me that my friendship with my close friend is weaken now.

I feel like I am almost .. left behind. I know this scenario is normal.  And it should be this way. I am more than happy for her. But I truely miss her as a friend. All the crazy time and thing we did. She taught me a lot and I am appreciated that our friendship has grown so much in the last year .

If now, we grow a little apart, it is okay.. I guess. She has change my life for the better and taught me to be a better person. We will still talk and hang out. But it won't be the same as it use to be anymore because she has a boyfriend. But, I guess it will be okay in time. I will have to get use to this and.. use this opportunity to do soemthing else.. .. yea.

Meanwhile.. as for my weight, I need to get my butt to the gym and eat healther.. iT'S HARD!! :((
I been .. bad. But i ate 2 banana today.. i hope this helps in some way.. but i kinda eat a chocolate bars too.. um.. YEA.. I will start regulating my eating habbit. This is just getting out of hand. I NEED To taking care of my body a little bit better!

Healthy Living: Reaching a little higher

Well... the last few weeks of school really really kick my butt.
I took 2 midterms today. I don't know how it went, I studied my little tail off. I'm not sure if I will be crying tomorrow when I see the result. But I knew I did the best that I could in the time I was given.

A bit of things have happen in the past week. I quite my research at the hospital. I just couldn't handle it along with my school work. Eventhough it was only 5 hours for 2x a week, I couldn't handle it. I get tired. I still have to worry about school and the upcoming MCAT. So, I decide to cancel my research position.

I wish I had time for it. But I know this isn't the time. I have things to do. After I quit my research, I felt terrible, but I had to do what I needed to do. I want to be in the research, but this is not the time. Not yet.

The past 2 weeks have been tough. I been changing the way I study and sleep. I am more productive now. School is really grinding me with tests and exams. Life is hitting me. I feel like I need to continue growing and developing myself. I wake up at 5AM every morning now. It's something I am still trying to get use to. It helps with my study habbit. I am more productive this way.

So, not much changes in my life. I just trying to push myself and prepare. I can't believe in a year, I will be submitting my application to medical school. I am not ready. There are still so much stuff to be done.

Btw, I am getting chubbier!! :(( I have been stressed out lately, but still alive.. thank goodness.
My weight isn't the best. I haven't been healthy. I am still trying to adjust to the change in the quarter. But I hope to be eating well and working out when I settle down a bit.

I hope everyone is fine.

Healthy Living: A reminder

I am very lucky and fortunate to be where I am. I am very lucky to be in school. I am blessed to have such opportunity. I will never forget that.

Healthy Living: Spring Again

Spring Again.
It's finally here everyone. Spring is upon us.

I am not sure if you still remember, but this time last year, I was going through some pretty tough time. It is definitely something I will never forget. It was hard on my personal life and also on academic grades. Spring is here again.

Even though it's spring. It feels different from last year. The people are different, the environment are different, the whole setting itself is different.

What I mean is that.. this quarter, my world is shifting underneath my feet.This quarter is really scaring me. I am more involved in the hosptial now. I do research in the hospital and I also volunteer there. I spent 2 day a week a the hospital. On top of all of that, I also have school work.

This was my first week of school. I am extremely exhausted. My work in the hospital have brought me uncontrollable stress. I cried my first 2 days of school. I couldn't handle it. I'm sorry, I get emotion sometime. It's just.. this new environment is so new for me..

I feel like have completely changed my living style. I go to bed at 11:30 PM every night now. I get up at 5 AM every morning. I go to the hospital before the sun even rise. My research deals a lot with surgery cases. I work in the Anathesiolgy department. It's SOO STRESSFULL!! :((

It makes me feel terrible at time. By the time I finished my 6 hours shift, I feel exhausted. Then I have to drive 1 hour back to school. Then, I HAVE CLASS!! :((

Well, my new schedule really kick my ass. I been drinking 2 cup of coffee per day. It's crazy. I feel so tired at the end of the day.

This quarter is really challenging. I need to keep up with my school load, and also manage to adjust to working under a very stressful environment at the hosptial. This is my first week of school and I'm completely wiped dead. I dont' know how I'll survive when my midterms comes around.

I don't mean to be a whining complaining girl on the internet. It's just this week has been tough for me. But I will have to learn to adjust.

I think I read this quote from Gertie's page:

"You never know how strong you really are until you have no other choice but to be strong."

I didn't really think much of the quote until I lived through this week. It is so true. But sometime, I wish I hadn't have to go through this ordeal. I don't want to be strong. Being strong is soo hard..

But. Despite me being completely exhausted and dead, this hosptial experience is really life changing me. It shook my world. I can't describe it yet. There is this feeling in me.. it's something indescribable. What is this feeling? ...