Heatlhy Living: Living a Dream

It's late tonight, but I cannot seem to sleep. So, I thought I shared to you what I did for the last 2 week.

I just recently got back from a 2 week camping trip. I was an coach in the Summer Shadowing Program. This experience has been one of the best exposure I have ever got to medicine. I was able to walked with doctors to see patients. I was able to witness how a group of doctors made decision and take care of patients. In the trip, I made a lot of new friends, and I have gotten many great adviced from people who are I have looked up to.

I know the general description I presented is very broad but till now, I still cannot fathom what I have gone through in this program.

During my last 3 years in college, the idea if medicine was right for me was always bothering me in the back of my head. I knew I want to be a doctor, but one can never be too sure until one walked in the shoe of an actual doctor. This experience has allowed me to do that. I am very fortunate to know doctors who are very compassionate to their patients. I was put in the Intensive Care Unit for Infectious Disease. The patients I see are often unconcious and are fighting some critcial disease.

I felt really little. Watching someone lying bed and fighting for their life. During my 2 weeks, I have seen patients recover and I have seen patients die. This expierence had made medicine all so real. It's more than just textbook knowledge.

I am growing more interested in medicine. I think this is where I want to dedicate my career to. But I also seen the downside of being a doctor. Being a physician in medicine means sacrificed. When you choose to be a doctor, you give up a lot of your personal life. You will probably never have the same amount of free time as a regular person. You'll be worked to death during your 10-15 years of training. (Medical school -Fellowship).

My doctor warned me of these hardship she had faced. She told me if I did choose medicine, it should be a decision made from within. I will need to prepared to faced hell.

... and I'm scared. I really am. I am nervous of the daunting challenges that lies ahead. She told me that only when you can be true to who you are and allow yourself to expressed who you really are, then you can lived a good and happy doctor.

I don't fully understand everything she said. But I think I have an general idea.
But in the end, I think I have made my decision. This is something I want to persue. It's a noble career. You get to be there when someone is in the most critical stage of their life. You get to play a part in their recovery processes or at least you can be there to walk them through the last stage of their life. Being a doctor will be hard. It will have many crappy times. But I believed in the end, all the things they do and the skill and knowledge that they achieved and use to help their patients is all worth it.

I hope I am good enough.

This is what I did in my last 2 weeks. And It has changed me.

"And I remember all over again,
that fear is just part of life,
the trick is to recognized it,
and then press on anyway"

-Julie Andrews