Healthy Living: Our Expectation

It's getting me. Everyone, life's expectation is getting to me. I feel like i'm drowning in it. Or really bother by it. Its getting to me.

I don't think I know how to live life properly. Throughout my high school and college life, I have been so focus on school and working hard. I wanted the good grades, the high achievement, the outstanding positions in life. I am always searching, fighting, reaching, climbing, and moving forward. And I am doing that now, and sometime, it seems like my life is a checklist. Like I have certain items to complete and go get them done. And for a time it was like that.

When I was aiming for medical school, I needed to do well on my test, go to lecture, do my lab report, volunteer, and all the millions of things that is expected of a premedical student. And in a way, I did all of those thing. And, many of these task are big obstacles and I have struggled and cried. But now, as a I reach to this point in my life, I feel like ... I don't know. I feel odd.

I feel like I need to do the big things in life, like travel, get into a relationship, get a career, married, children, and family. That like the goals for most of my friends and what my parents wanted for me. And I liked that for myself too. But I don't know, I just don't want to complete these important in my mission to search it out and complete. I don't know. I feel odd.

I been feeling uneasy these days. Its so odd. I cannot put it into words of what is bothering me. I feel so odd. Maybe its my anticipation of the next chapter my life. I know it is coming. Whatever the path is, it is fated I walked it. I hope and pray that life and Buddha is kind to me.

I'm waiting for a decision. I'm waiting for a school.