A close friend of mine recently asked me if I have ever wonder how our life has changed since we choose medicine. Would our dating prospect change? Would our lifestyle change? Would we be as competitive as we are now?
I guess things would be different. I tried to think back to a time when I wasn’t premed where I wasn’t so competitive. My gap years let me relive these time for a bit. I think I would gravitate to same people who I have as friends now. I would play more video games. I don’t know how to answer her question, but I know that in another life, I would probably still like video game. I would definitely still like girls.
And it made me think, how would my life be different if I wasn't premed? With this, we would have to traveled back in time 8 years ago. During, that time, I was only a Sophomore in high school. I stilled played video games, hanging out with friends, and I even got time pursue someone. School was important but it was not the main factor in my life.
I played video games so much, and it was amazing. But when I got to my Junior year, my competitive level started to arise. I had a thirst within me. I wanted the grades. I wanted the recognition. I wanted to do well in school and get my name out there. I wanted a future for myself. It was that competitive nature in me that push me to work hard and obtain what I had today.
High school started to become insanely hard. I hated it because it was so hard and terrible with so much smart kids that make me feel stupid. Then, I went to college. My studied ethinics in high school carried into college, where I performed really well. I was one of the top student in my class. It was almost as if I was trained in high school, and college was were I performed.
During my quest to obtain my grades, I found medicine. You know, some people choose medicine because their parents want them to. Some choose medicine for the money. Some choose medicine for the fame. And, I didn't know why I choose medicine.
Maybe I was lucky and was put on a good track and guided by great mentors. But through their guidance, I found something special in medicine for me. I realized with my career, I could assist someone in a critical time of their life. I could be their light, someone they depend upon. I could to be someone who understand and assist. I have the knowledge that other would only guess. As cheesy as it get, I saw that in medicine, I have hold of gift of life, something to restore, to heal. And I thought that was pretty magical. To be human, but to do something to others that they could not do to themselves. I don't know, and there are still more things I don't know.
But, I do know something. I am not the 15 years old I was when I was in my Junior year. I guess, I would be happy playing video game, going to school, pursue my love interest right now too. But, you know, once I found medicine, I can't unfind it. I can't unwant it. I can't go back to where it was before because I am lucky and fortunate enough to be accepted to take on this path. Knowing what I know now, going back would be a waste of a life. It would be a thirst. I would spend my life wondering why I did not choose medicine.
I don't know how to describe it. Something changed. Things happened to me. I competitive in my nature. I still love the things about me that is not medicine related. Its there. Its there.
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