I guess some of this is expected, and some of it isn't expected.
So, today, I acted like a drummer. I rock hard and wonder how many walls I could shatter with my presence. I found something out today that really surprised me. I been boggled down with this problem for a whole month now and finally, I was coming back to address it. But it turn out the problem is already resolved, but not in the way I wanted.
So, today I was honest about my feeling and I knew it going to cost me 2 friendship.
Everyone around me are telling I am stupid for saying that and being honest with my feeling. But I don't know why it feels so good. It was on my mind for so long, and now I get voice my opinion and I lost 2 friends. And I don't know why it feels like a relieved. Like something been inside me that need to released, and today, I kinda let that feeling all out. And as a result, I got 2 people hating me. Oh boy, I must look like a fool to them and make things worse for them.
In a way, its all went according to plan and not according to plan. Geez, maybe someday when I looked back at this event, I will slap myself and say how stupid I am. But for some reason, at this moment time, I do not regret it at all. It feel so good to let me feeling to be heard. At this moment time, I don't think this is bad at all. I don't know if this was the right thing, but I know at least I'm trying to do something. I hope one day, I won't care too much about these 2 people in my life. I would be surrounded with happy faces and in a better place than where I am tonight.
In the end, I don't know what I'm doing or where I am going with my friendship to other people. I am not sure if I am making the right decisions. But I do know that this is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. I won't be okay tonight, and probably not tomorrow. But someday, the sun will rise again.
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